- ·
If there isn’t an Apple Store in Winamac,
Indiana, they’re missing an obvious marketing opportunity!
- ·
If you’re in Indiana, and they have taken the time and
expense to put a sign up warning ROUGH PAVEMENT AHEAD, bolt down the wife and
kids, secure any loose change, and use both hands to grip the wheel like
William “Refrigerator” Perry is going to try to rip it from your hands and beat
you down with it. There is severe turbulance coming. Consider the regular
“non-rough pavement” roads. They’re warning you that what’s coming is WORSE.
- ·
(If you’re approaching an Indiana railroad
crossing and see “Rough Tracks”- you have an alignment in your future, no
matter what speed you cross those tracks.)
- ·
If you’re in Ohio on US 35 and you see signs for
ROUGH PAVEMENT AHEAD, don’t sweat it. They’ve long since paved the road, they
just forgot to take down the signs.
- ·
On holiday weekends, every time there’s a sign
randomly dropping the speed limit from 70 to 55, there’s a state trooper behind
the sign…. waiting.
- ·
Seen on a sign for an air conditioner company in
Dayton, Ohio: “I used to think that air was free. Then I bought a bag of
chips.”
- · To the Ford Explorer who spent the entire West
Virginia Turnpike going down mountains in the left lane on your brakes – I’m
pretty sure that the state police won’t shoot out your tires if you happen to
hit the speed limit while going down a three-mile long 5% grade. I would have
been more worried about the pickup truck with the gun rack who was close enough
to check your tire pressure.
- ·
Bland County, Virginia – here’s your new slogan:
“Bland isn’t really too exciting or anything, but we like it.”
- · It really doesn't matter how cold you set your air conditioning... If you leave Charleston Chews in direct sunlight, you're going to end up with a messy pile of corn syrup soup.
- ·
Whatever engineer designed the new I-40 going
through Greensboro really hates
drivers. Random lanes become “exit only” lanes and suddenly veer off the
highway from the left and right lanes with little or no warning. Be warned.
- ·
There should be a truck stop in Lizard Lick, NC.
Seems like it would market itself, doesn’t it? (If you aren’t a trucker, you
probably won’t get that one – don’t worry about it…)
And a few responses to questions people have written in:
Is this site for real, or is it just an ad for the Prius?
Oh, it’s for real all right. I have the receipts for the
gasoline and Tylenol (and a lot of Mountain Dew and beef jerky!) But I do have
the perfect ad campaign for Toyota:
Maybe they’ll paint that across the side of the Prius and
pay for my gas! Of course, we’d have to fit it around the polka dots… I doubt my
wife sees removal of the dots as a negotable issue at this point. Or I could
just lease the car out as advertising! I travel through six states, across 800
miles, countless people see the car every day! Just think of the possibilities!
Or maybe I could shill for the Republican party….
Not to get political or anything. I guess I'd have to put the Democratic response on the other side to be "fair and balanced." Something like "I'm having to do this because of the sequester..."
Why don’t you offer your empty car seats for sale? You
could make the trip make money!
Well, there are three reasons for that…
1) First of all, I’m
on a tight timeline, and too many bathroom stops will throw me right off my
schedule.
2) Second, while I get along with pretty much anybody, there’s nothing
worse than being stuck with someone incompatible for 13 long hours.
3) Lastly,
after being in the airlines for so many years, if someone isn’t standing in my
living room with their shoes off, belt in hand, and all metal removed from
their pockets at least 30 minutes prior to departure, I’d probably just drive
off and leave them standing there….
